I hate to watch

November 10, 2008

Well, I don’t hate. I actually do often see myself as a silent observer, and that’s all we all really are. Anyways, I hate to see myself ignoring things like people’s birthdays (which I do), and forgetting anniversaries (I’ve done many times). So like, why should it matter when I started this blog? And for that matter, why should it matter that Wednesday is the 1st anniversary of this blog?

In fact, up until recently, I only knew that Nov. ’07 was around the start of it, cause my blog entries didn’t go any further than that. Had the links not been available, I’d have no idea. AND, had WordPress not kept me updated on my post total, I also wouldn’t have realized I’m approaching 100 posts.

Don’t get me wrong – were I to make my 100th post on the anniversary of the start of this blog would’ve been a neat coincidence, but I’m realizing now something else. A true artist wouldn’t take these things into account. Why should I work harder, and add to my schedule, just cause two things are coming up? Now, I don’t yet see myself as a true artist, but to be truly creative you create in the moment, from the past. You don’t look to the past and sit and count. You just do.

I like to think, though, that keeping this blog for a whole year, and showing off my creations, is an accomplishment. I remember in college having a Xanga for more than a year, but mostly posting how I couldn’t talk to girls – and the occasional album review. At least this time I’m creating in an attempt to fill the void of not talking to girls…

So, here I go, into an unknown future. Accepting that things have started without me, and other things will finish without me. But hopefully, inspiration is inspiration, and the past will mean nothing more than an earlier outlook…


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