Auto-Attentive-Ism-Istic-Ally

December 7, 2010

Does auto really imply self? (autobiography, automatic – thanx wikipedia!)

Anyways, I’m changing. And it’s scary. At first, it was coast through life. I’ll get there when I get there. Then it was “Attentivism” – focus on others. Wait on others. Simply, help others, not yourself. Extraverted to an extreme. Then it was back-and-forth, because all philosophies can only be practiced up to a certain point (Absurdism makes sense, but then there are times life isn’t absurd – TAKE THAT CAMUS!)

And then things happen. And I try to focus on my career. And it involved going to a company holiday party, and making a fool of myself. And it also involved finding out this pretty girl who actually talks to me is into movies. And then that made me even more confused.

You see, it wasn’t that I was spreading myself too thin. And it wasn’t that I wasn’t focused on my career. It’s that I wasn’t focused. I was just coasting. If I look, there are a lot of opportunities around. Some personal, some emotional, some social, and some goal oriented. I can focus on one, or I can focus on what I want – the needs of mine. And focus on them.

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