This Is It

May 31, 2012

I think this will be my last post here.

I’m considering making a new blog, but I’m not too sure yet. Regardless of if I do or not, it isn’t as if I have readers following my entries, who would need a notice of my new online whereabouts.

I was thinking of writing a few different things here. Mainly things I never got to write. I was gonna write about me cause I’m self-centered, or write about my friends but then reflect it back on me.

This blog has definitely run its course, I hadn’t posted on it for ever five months and no one cared. Well, the author of another blog (who is in my blogroll!) had mentioned it, but only after I wrote a comment on his. Of course.

I don’t mean any harm by writing that.

So, I guess in the long run, no, I am not as creative as I would like to be. Which, I guess is a human trait I never thought of until now. We all wanna be rock stars or movie directors, don’t we? But, either we don’t express our creativity, or we try to, and no one likes it the way we do. Or, just a small number of people do.

So, if you aren’t as creative as you’d like to be, let me leave you with this. A manager at a job I used to have once told me that God created us, so we should create. I found that very insightful, even though I am not all that religious. So, for those of us who do not believe in God, or an almighty creator, let me leave you with this as well. If we do not create, we have nothing to leave behind. Nothing to ever show that we were here.

It’s true, one day the world will end, and one day the universe will end. But for now, let’s create, while we still can.

Toast & Tea

May 27, 2012

Wow, I never realized how much that sounds like (or at least rhymes with) the ‘new’ Death Cab album…

Well, I made it. Practically three years in the making, since I had it that one fateful morning at my parents’ house.

I have that job. Well, kinda. I have my apartment. I have some weekends off, but definitely have Sundays off.

However, there are new stipulations. Such as an oven that I should clean, and a smoke detector that is very sensetive.

But I had it. Toast and tea, the way life should be.

05/18/12

May 18, 2012

May has always been an interesting month for me. For starters, it’s my mother’s name. Um, pretend I didn’t write that…

For most students, May is one month before summer break which also means finals or regents testing depending on your state. As a college student, May means finals – and graduation. In fact, five years ago to the date I graduated from college!

While I can’t say what has happened to me every May since college – like I think I can with November cause of pretty girls – May has definitely been up with Novemeber as a meaningful month in my life.

As I said, I graduated college in May. Last year, I swore I was in love with someone (which reminds me – what a terrible idea that was!). But what that really meant to me in the long run is that I can love. Usually I’m as exciting as a blank book cover. Only when I’m falling and my innards are flapping was my life exciting. But having the ability to love is something I never saw in myself – until last year.

This May, I am continuing on with my never ending growing, never ending learning, and never ending changing. I got a Full Time spot at a bank. Which on the surface isn’t much – I didn’t go to school for accounting or anything. BUT, it also means that I can finally leave my high school job. Which definitely was the most exciting thing as of late.

And I can look at this two ways. There goes a good chunk of my life that made me who I am – good, bad and indifferent. Or, I can look at it as a chance to look towards the future. The moment I left I should’ve done this, I could’ve done that.

But also, the moment I left, I was ready to start the next chapter of my life. There will be challanges, and there will be problems to face. But I can finally wake up in my apartment on a Sunday, drink tea and eat toast. Cause that was what I’ve been wanting to do for a long, long time.

The question isn’t if the reward of toast is worth the challanges. It is if I’m up for the challanges. And the answer had better be yes – cause if I’m not, I’m losing this apartment, that toast, and that tea.