Today I Count – Other Days I Don’t Count

Attention Americans – in about 100 days, taxes are due! To those of us in retail, that means inventory is due. What that really means, is a blog entry worth of things.

What it means on the surface is counting. A lot. Counting every flavor, every variety, every packaging difference. 2 liter bottles, cherry flavor, lime scent. Everything. EVERYTHING. It’s annoying.

Another thing it means, is hearing others complain. Hearing those of us who know what we are doing trying to calm down the complainers. Yes, it is a waste of time. Yes, it has to be done. Some of us just can’t accept it – no matter their age…

Another thing it means, is horrible hours. Well, not awful hours. But early hours. Everyday. Until it gets done. Which means another thing – no time off (for good behavior), until it’s done. Sorry for the Dark City reference…

This can mean many other things – stress. And lots of it. This can lead to sickness. It can lead to unofficial feelings, just to feel someone in the same boat as you may have the answers to all your problems. As if someone like me didn’t see that in almost every girl I meet…

It means the new year is here. Officially. This is the end of the 2009 tax season, which is why it’s done this time of year. This means the hardest part, right off the bat.

But that’s what it’s telling me. Life is like this. Nonstop work. Getting through it, with no days off. Doing what you have to, each and every day.

It means looking at what’s right in front of you, and not worrying about the big picture. Make this day worth it. Carpe Diem – Seize The Day!

This means putting all your effort into what you believe in, and into what needs to be done. No matter how much everyone else around you wants to quit, and find the easy way out.

It also means something else for me, personally – vacation’s approaching. And, spring is approaching.

Happy 2010!

1-0-1-0-1-0

On, off. One, off. On, off. I didn’t mean to put that ‘one’ but it’s a nice typo…

Every year this happens. It gets cold, I feel like I’m wasting my life and I’m not doing anything. Life has really thrown it at me this year – youth in a weird way, age in another weird way. Starting up and settling down. Breaking up and breaking down.

It’s only October (another reason for the 1-0/10 title), and it’s freezing. I’m actually worried about driving in snow tomorrow. But I should be smart, and realize that Brian Shields said the northern part of the county to the north; not this county.

I remember at one point thinking that 2009 was going to be my goof off year, as if my parents would appreciate that. Turning 25 and still goofing off, hrm… On the other hand, I’m glad I did when I did. I wouldn’t have made a short film I made, and I wouldn’t have made a song I wrote. I wouldn’t have obsessed over a movie, and thus a director, and in turn being able to see that director in person. But still, here I am. 25 and goofing off.

Everything seems like it’s building up to something, only to reach a plateau of calmness. Every job applications becomes a “at least they were interested.” Every apartment becomes affordable, but unattainable. Everyday becomes another thing I did, or another day I survived. But it’s the same thing in the long run.

But then, it hits me. Every idea is become magical and performable. Every word has a rhyme. Every story has a deep meaning I want to tell others, no matter how simple. And every disappointment is another to write in that disappointment philosophy. They really are just as important as our accomplishments.

It’s only October, I still can do one last thing.

Untitled

I like to look at life. I question living. And what isn’t living despite all of us being alive. I ponder success and failure, disappointments and achievements. All of which is a part of life, so failure and disappointment is still living afterall.

I like to watch the weather. I mean, when I was a kid for some reason I used to watch the Weather Channel. I don’t know why, I don’t want to be a meteorologist. Although, I have seen the position available…

But I like to watch spring arrive. I hate summer’s heat, and winter’s cold. But I also love my bittersweet relationship with autumn. As I’ve been writing about recently. I love apple picking, and pumpkins. I love cooler days and comfortably cool nights. But I hate winter coming. I hate the morning dew. I hate the year ending, really.

But times change and chances come up and leave. Another possibility of moving out. Another possible career. Another friend with a similar get rich quick scheme – that will never work. Just like summer turning into autumn – it’s nice, but it won’t last.

Today is Tuesday, September 1st. It’s depressing to think about. It will be December in 3 months. But there’s still hints of summer out there, to tease you. Sit in the sun in the afternoon. Look out the window on a clear day. You can still go the shore, or a lake. You might not want to swim, but still. And, there’s other things. There’s foliage. There’s harvesting and gardening.

But as I said in the beginning, failure and disappointment is as much a part of life as success and achievements. So, fall turning into winter is still living. No matter how unfortunate the fall, or cold the winter, spring returns. There is still life, no matter how dormant life becomes.

I think I can make it this time…

Talking To Strangers

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?nq4enzw3dnm

It’s me and a ukulele. It was supposed to be live sounding, but I can’t quite play it all at the same time just yet. It was supposed to be like Neutral Milk Hotel’s “Engine,” but I delivered it badly. The melody is that overdone awkward waltz I do. The words are on beat, meaning there’s no vocal melody. No vocal hook. Is there a ukulele hook?

It’s scary, I have a style. It’s self-conscious. It’s bad.

P.S. this is my 200th post. I was gonna do some weird calculations about how I my post total is 200 a lot quicker than I reached 100. But I think I’ll just leave it as it is.

The Art Of Being Indecisive

It’s funny, now that I found ‘sunshine folk pop’ according to the allmusic guide, I’ve been feeling very excited about simply playing the ukulele. I’ve had daydream involving a city friend and I in a ‘downstate duo’ or something.

I never brought it up to him, and I don’t know how he’d react to it (not to mention, I can’t play the uke as good as he can play guitar, and my 3 or rare 4 chord songs involve the always exciting “7” chords, while he dislikes 3 chord songs). But still, there’s a part in all of us who want to be rock stars, even if only on a local level (although, let’s face it, if you’re in a band the place to be is NYC!).

All of my fellow downstaters have been kinda absent lately. One of them has the flu, another one has no money. A third kinda disappears now and then, but makes his presence all the more exciting this way. I’m not gonna visit my college buddies cause I’m saving up for something. And so, I was left all alone last night – perfect time to add another song to the demo! But, I didn’t.

The art of being indecisive is an exciting, if not somewhat lazy one. Instead what I did was my other fun independent thing to do, watch a bad movie. And in between laughing at its camp and pondering camera angles, I thought about how I should be making my Literally Independent Production movies. And how, even if my friend who wants to be a movie star has next to no money, and my camera girl has the flu, how I can poorly act, but still tell a story.

Will it get done anytime soon? I hope so – it’s been a while since I made a video. I just hope indecision doesn’t take over, and I listen to sunshine folk pop some more…

Up Relative Early, On A Saturday

Changing it up a bit…

But again, it’s quite nice. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary last night. Although, I did. The power went out.

It was nice though. I read. I listened to over the air radio, on a bulky walkman. I lounged around and relaxed. I didn’t turn on the computer. I didn’t turn on the TV. I also didn’t use the toilet in those five hours after work, but that’s a different story…

But this is always good for me, cause I like to think, and need thinking time, and weekend ‘mornings’ are a nice time to do so. Especially when you do something Friday night, and need to reflect…

Up Early, Again

Just like I remember…

So here we go again. Up early on a Sunday, without having to worry about work like last week. This time I’m listening to Neutral Milk Hotel, while the dream logic fades away and sand gets rubbed from my eyes. While the windows are open and small planes fly by. Small Aeroplanes lulz.

Toast and tea earlier, that way that it should be. I went to bed awfully earlier for a Saturday night, but that’s cause I was exhausted from Friday’s fun. The way it should be, yet again.

Now I just need a good job, and I think I’ll have this “life” thing down…

Two Years Ago

Two years ago to the day I graduated college. And, I have nothing to show for it.

I mean, I do have videos and stuff that I learned how to edit and create and embed (yay youtube – I mean HTML course!). But I certainly didn’t do much else.

Daydreams and Wine

I doubt I’ll follow through with that blog idea. But here it starts, with my parents out of town.

Wine. Super Mario Bros. 3. Cheetos. Sigur Ros music. Doritos? Cinnamon Buns? The Wrestler?

Doing laundry? Running the dishwasher? What kind of party is that?

Happy May. Already.

Losing The Day To Night

I always wondered if it’s Losing the day tonight or Losing the day to night

Oh well. It’s not as bad the second time around. I like their debut better still…