Twenty Fourteen

December 23, 2014

I like doing yearly wrap-ups.  But something happened tonight that I wasn’t expecting.

There was a girl I met earlier this year. I found her cute and fun to be around. We dated for a bit. As usual, I screwed it up.

As time went on and we would occasionally hang out, the more I realized that it’s better off this way. I’m not going to write it off so simply as she has issues, I have issues. I won’t say that we don’t match. I’m not going to lie – I do miss her in my loneliest moments.

But in her absence, I grew. As I always do when things don’t go my way. I grew in a way that while, yes, she wanted me to, I also grew in a way I never expected. I’m more than content with who I am. I don’t just accept who I am – I like who I am.

Perhaps the funniest part is that I always was this person. I just had no confidence. Something clicked after it ended. And I grew.

But seeing her tonight, giving her a Christmas gift, I realized it had been about a year. She even mentioned it, with her boyfriend present.

And what a year it’s been. I was stuck on the wrong person this time last year. I’m over them both now. I was in a job I didn’t like last year. While, yes, I was fired, I moved on from that job.

She gave me the confidence to get over things. She gave me to the confidence to know that I can take on hardships. I’ve always been the type to take responsibility for my actions, but she inadvertently helped me realize I can take action. I can take responsibility for putting myself in a hole, and I can take action to dig my way out (it’s already a hole – how do you dig?).

For some silly reason, I’m looking at Virgo forecasts of 2015. It’d be nice to know what the future brings. But let me pause for a minute. If I’ve gotten myself out of a corner before, I can do it again. There’s uncertainty out there, yes. But let it come as it unfolds.

You’re not the girl I used to know