It’s Coming

May 31, 2009

Look for it. Soon.


I Am Emo

May 30, 2009

Okay, no, I am not emo. Not right now at least. But that song was the song I overplayed the last time I really felt emo. But I watched the sad episode of Hunter X Hunter, and realized something.

I like being emo. Now, I don’t like sitting in the corner in the dark cutting my wrists listening to a sad song over and over. But I like that gloom. I like that overwhelming emotion. I like that for once I feel more important than the world – which is not at all how it should be.

But another reason I like feeling emo is overcoming it. It’s the true individual spirit, to move on from things and feel better about yourself. It’s about being yourself while moving on from what you were, and without what you once had.

“Unfortunately” though, I’m not as easily swayed by girls, so I guess I really have to feel before I can feel again. I guess I have to give it my all to feel like I lost it all. Which is the way it should be.

P.S. that video sucks. P.P.S. something came up tonight, and I feel bad, but not emo.

Kids From Vassar Sell Out!

Okay, whatever. I don’t know the people. I don’t overly like the band. But I mean, that song is off their debut album. And already got money from a hotel.

P.S. The Dodos also sold out to Miller Chill. The video can be found here, but I can’t embed it.
I must listen to the best music, cause those two songs were on my best of ’08 mix…

Up Early On A Sunday

May 24, 2009

I’m never up at this hour. Which is bad. Seriously.

But, for whatever reason, I am up now. And have been for about an hour or so right now. Probably an hour since I got out of bed, but you get the idea.

It’s strange, but it’s nice. I used to love sleeping in. And I still do. But I was out somewhat late last night, so getting up before 10:30 is a surprise for me. It’s still a good 9 hours of sleep or so, which is more than enough. I bet my parents are surprised I’m up, they’re used to my 11:30 wake up time as well.

But maybe this is what I need to do. Especially on weekends. Cause, I want some alone time, which I have right now. My parents are doing a few chores and other Sunday morning routines. And instead of wasting it with dreams I won’t remember I’m using it for comfort. Which is rare these days of planning and dreaming, and dreaming which prevents planning. I can use this hour or so to type on my blog and comfort entry, instead of a “Oh no, what should I do?” or a “Here’s something I created that wore me out.”

Instead I’m letting the early Sunday dreams pop up, and listening to Jake Shimabukuro’s ukulele – basically cafe ambient music, but it’s a ukulele! And how peaceful it is.

Okay, no it is not the missing link. But a breakthrough for evolutionists. A proto-primate.

Now we’re just waiting on a miracle from God to bring us agnostics back to reality.

Two Years Ago

May 18, 2009

Two years ago to the day I graduated college. And, I have nothing to show for it.

I mean, I do have videos and stuff that I learned how to edit and create and embed (yay youtube – I mean HTML course!). But I certainly didn’t do much else.

Change For Coffee

May 14, 2009

$4.79 before coinstar.
$4.40ish after coinstar.

I could get 2 cups of coffee at Borders with that!

Look for a change of blogs soon. I might make that my new personal blog, if no one takes it between then and now.

I Saw The Stars

May 12, 2009

I was gonna write like 5 reasons I am happy today or something. But I didn’t, even after thinking of 5 reasons.

The reason I’m not going to write them is not because I’m unhappy, but because something happened today. I went out, and when I got home I saw the stars were out. I feel like it’s been a while since I saw them.

I didn’t see any constellations, not even the Big Dipper, but I saw the stars. And that is reason enough to be happy.

I remember when I first saw it. Catching it on some wild feed off the huge satellite dish that is no longer in our backyard. I was probably 15 or 16 when I saw it. I was absolutely stunned by the image of him crashing into the horizon. Him walking along it. I remember Ed Harris’ “I am the creator” -PAUSE- “of a television show” seemed much more overwhelming that first time.

I think I have a plan to move out. Just beyond the horizon. I can actually see Mount Beacon from my parents’ house. Poughkeepsie is “just beyond that” in theory. I imagine that Round Hill is somewhere in view around here, if all the trees weren’t in the way. Washingtonville is right around there.

And while the former would be what I’m after, moving to Washingtonville with a friend is what will work. I have a plan. It will work. It might take overcoming my fear as Truman did, and pushing death. But I’m still in my parents’ house. Living the life they set up for me. Soon, I have to go into that unknown world. But it will work.

I used to stay up all night at school. Sometimes a few in a row. Especially during finals week.

Maybe it was just being prepared for it, or the anticipation of something potentially devastating. Now I’ve been up for just 18 hours and exhausted. I just had a coffee like an hour ago too!

Sales. Star Trek. Chinese Food. Chillin’. Train. Coffee. Book.

And I still have a LOOOOOONG 45 minutes to go…

P.S. as for ‘Book.’ I had this idea for a novel. I just realized my other blog that has no entries would be a good title for another novel – Inside Jokes I Finally Understand